Thank you, thank you, Rebecca, for having the courage to share this story. I deeply resonate with what you say about God's calling: "In the past, I responded to what seemed like a mandate from God to quietly and sacrificially obey for the sake of a greater cause. This time seemed different. It felt like an invitation to be included in a healthier, better way to do good, with my agency and voice intact." I am SO GLAD that you felt able to respond to that invitation (not a demand, but a gentle calling that respects your health and dignity)! What you write will be a blessing to so many.
I feel so heartbroken for you and your family. Thank you for the courage to speak. I do believe one way to healing is spoken or written word. Injustice has a sting like nothing else. But God is not blind and life is short compared to eternity and the hope of glory that awaits his creation of which you are His!
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve begun to think that more fundamentalist stripes of evangelicalism set missionaries up for this kind of treatment. We were told we had to “change the world” for Jesus, that He was depending on us to accomplish something big, so how could we jeopardize the mission for our own well-being? I’m so glad many are beginning to find their voices again.
Thank you for writing. I am currently in the midst of challenging a former church after realizing the story my husband and I had there was part of a larger pattern. There were aspects of your story that almost made me cry — the covering of the truth, the damage control by the leaders. It’s all too familiar.
Thank you for sharing your story. I found myself getting upset all over again as I read it and just thankful that we’re not at MAF anymore. 😭
I was struck in particular by your notes at the end about Theresa’s report, especially this: “But she determined whistleblower retaliation was unsubstantiated because leaders “had authority to make decisions.” “
What in the circular logic BS reasoning is this nonsense?! With her logic, there is no scenario in which those in authority would EVER be able to be credibly accused of retaliation, because they are in authority, and by definition they have authority to make decisions because they are in authority. Make it make sense!!! 😭😭😭
I’m so proud of you for sharing your story. And I hate how common these stories of abuse within. Christian organizations and churches are. 😭
I finally told the truth about my husband being fired from the church where we youth pastored. It was seven years later and I felt like I could tell it from a scar and not an open wound. It was freeing to tell the truth.
The results were interesting…the pastor reached out and finally apologized. But I think it was so that he could tell people he had. 😢 And he never talked to me, just my husband.
Thank you for your courage in sharing your story. It’s bizarre how common spiritual abuse tactics are, like corrupt leaders are using the same playbook. We have experienced similar things, so your courage and integrity are a huge encouragement.
Rebecca, I am genuinely sorry for what you have experienced. My wife and I can relate, though our context was very different. May God bless you and the family. Money, power, position, and reputation keep winning out in so many contexts over Jesus, love, and the sheep.
Thank you for courageously telling your story. I’m reminded of my own experiences, both as a sinful authoritarian leader as well as one upon whom such sinfulness was worked out. The good news we intend to bring to others is meant for us, too, because we really need it. May our Lord have mercy upon those suffering, even as yet unknowingly, from sinful leaders and continue to display his kindness and love through humble messengers like you.
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s so grievous when those responsible for spiritual care are so lacking in humility and maturity to be able to accept some criticism. And yet we seem to be in a dearth of spiritual maturity in Christian organizations. I actually worked for MAF in the UK and just so sorry this happened to your family. Thank God for HIS faithfulness ♥️
This is concerning. We were missionaries with MAF for almost 15 years. We left on good terms 3 years ago. But we should have left years earlier. I can't say I ever saw or experienced the leadership ever doing anything morally wrong. But there were very poor decisions made, and the frustration that caused led to years of clinical depression.
I wrote this paper in seminary and wish I had taken my own advice sooner.
Thank you for writing this. It gives more clarity to my own brief experience in overseas missions over a decade ago, which unfortunately involved spiritually abusive leadership. That was not clear to me at the time, but I knew something was not right.
I'm angered that you were treated this way. I am frustrated at how organizations/leaders use and abuse the people who give up so much to be able to serve. I know your honesty and bravery in sharing is not without cost to you.
hi Rebecca. I became aware of you because I've been following your reporting on the IHOPKC situation since last year, where I was involved for a few years in the earlier days of MB's ministry. I'm terribly sorry this happened firsthand to you and your family at MAF. There truly is something systemically broken within so much of what passes for "church" and "ministry". Ugh. I've left the religious industrial complex, as Brian McClaren calls it.
Thank you so much for this. It means a lot that you wrote, especially as a former MAFer.
Thank you, thank you, Rebecca, for having the courage to share this story. I deeply resonate with what you say about God's calling: "In the past, I responded to what seemed like a mandate from God to quietly and sacrificially obey for the sake of a greater cause. This time seemed different. It felt like an invitation to be included in a healthier, better way to do good, with my agency and voice intact." I am SO GLAD that you felt able to respond to that invitation (not a demand, but a gentle calling that respects your health and dignity)! What you write will be a blessing to so many.
I so appreciate this! Thank you!
Thank you
I feel so heartbroken for you and your family. Thank you for the courage to speak. I do believe one way to healing is spoken or written word. Injustice has a sting like nothing else. But God is not blind and life is short compared to eternity and the hope of glory that awaits his creation of which you are His!
Yes! Thanks for understanding.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve begun to think that more fundamentalist stripes of evangelicalism set missionaries up for this kind of treatment. We were told we had to “change the world” for Jesus, that He was depending on us to accomplish something big, so how could we jeopardize the mission for our own well-being? I’m so glad many are beginning to find their voices again.
Well said!
Thank you for sharing your story and shedding light on the challenges that MK’s face. I didn’t know they are more likely to have higher ACE scores
Thanks for reading and caring.
Thank you for writing. I am currently in the midst of challenging a former church after realizing the story my husband and I had there was part of a larger pattern. There were aspects of your story that almost made me cry — the covering of the truth, the damage control by the leaders. It’s all too familiar.
I'm so very sorry for what you've been through.
Thank you for sharing your story. I found myself getting upset all over again as I read it and just thankful that we’re not at MAF anymore. 😭
I was struck in particular by your notes at the end about Theresa’s report, especially this: “But she determined whistleblower retaliation was unsubstantiated because leaders “had authority to make decisions.” “
What in the circular logic BS reasoning is this nonsense?! With her logic, there is no scenario in which those in authority would EVER be able to be credibly accused of retaliation, because they are in authority, and by definition they have authority to make decisions because they are in authority. Make it make sense!!! 😭😭😭
I’m so proud of you for sharing your story. And I hate how common these stories of abuse within. Christian organizations and churches are. 😭
I finally told the truth about my husband being fired from the church where we youth pastored. It was seven years later and I felt like I could tell it from a scar and not an open wound. It was freeing to tell the truth.
The results were interesting…the pastor reached out and finally apologized. But I think it was so that he could tell people he had. 😢 And he never talked to me, just my husband.
https://christylynnewood.substack.com/p/seven-years-ago-our-bubble-world?r=1n2zv4
So sorry for what you've been through, and thank you so very much for sharing your own story here.
Thank you for your courage in sharing your story. It’s bizarre how common spiritual abuse tactics are, like corrupt leaders are using the same playbook. We have experienced similar things, so your courage and integrity are a huge encouragement.
Thanks for your kindness!
Rebecca, I am genuinely sorry for what you have experienced. My wife and I can relate, though our context was very different. May God bless you and the family. Money, power, position, and reputation keep winning out in so many contexts over Jesus, love, and the sheep.
Thanks for the courage to blow the whistle.
I so appreciate this. Thank you!
Thank you for courageously telling your story. I’m reminded of my own experiences, both as a sinful authoritarian leader as well as one upon whom such sinfulness was worked out. The good news we intend to bring to others is meant for us, too, because we really need it. May our Lord have mercy upon those suffering, even as yet unknowingly, from sinful leaders and continue to display his kindness and love through humble messengers like you.
Thank you for saying all this. I so appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s so grievous when those responsible for spiritual care are so lacking in humility and maturity to be able to accept some criticism. And yet we seem to be in a dearth of spiritual maturity in Christian organizations. I actually worked for MAF in the UK and just so sorry this happened to your family. Thank God for HIS faithfulness ♥️
This is concerning. We were missionaries with MAF for almost 15 years. We left on good terms 3 years ago. But we should have left years earlier. I can't say I ever saw or experienced the leadership ever doing anything morally wrong. But there were very poor decisions made, and the frustration that caused led to years of clinical depression.
I wrote this paper in seminary and wish I had taken my own advice sooner.
https://www.academia.edu/7573162/Decision_Making_For_Missions_Involvement_A_Biblical_Rational_Process_For_Considering_Family_Issues
Oh wow, Brad, thanks so much for sharing this. I really appreciate hearing from you. Your paper wrestles with some really important issues.
Thank you for writing this. It gives more clarity to my own brief experience in overseas missions over a decade ago, which unfortunately involved spiritually abusive leadership. That was not clear to me at the time, but I knew something was not right.
I'm angered that you were treated this way. I am frustrated at how organizations/leaders use and abuse the people who give up so much to be able to serve. I know your honesty and bravery in sharing is not without cost to you.
I so appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for your kindness. And I'm so sorry for what you've been through.
hi Rebecca. I became aware of you because I've been following your reporting on the IHOPKC situation since last year, where I was involved for a few years in the earlier days of MB's ministry. I'm terribly sorry this happened firsthand to you and your family at MAF. There truly is something systemically broken within so much of what passes for "church" and "ministry". Ugh. I've left the religious industrial complex, as Brian McClaren calls it.
Paul, thank you so much for following my work and for your compassionate message.