Nineteen years ago, my husband and I got on a plane in Los Angeles for a 20-hour journey that would take us to the other side of the world. We’d quit our previous jobs, sold almost everything, and applied for visas to live in Indonesia. I was excited but scared, ready for an adventure but uncertain I had what it took. But I knew this: My life was about to change forever.
Then five years ago, we sold almost everything again, farewelled our Indonesian church, neighbors, and co-workers, and got on an airplane to leave the islands where we’d spent the last 14 years. But we weren’t simply going back “home” or settling back into a once-familiar life. Whistleblowing was a big part of the reason why we got on that plane to Colorado. And our decision to speak up changed us forever.
The same week I left Indonesia, Amy Fritz’s husband was leaving his job at Ramsey Solutions because of their concerns. A year later, Amy decided to write a public letter to their Ramsey Solutions community. She told me she agonized over every word. Would Dave Ramsey sue them? Would former co-workers think she was trying to destroy the company?
Amy recently republished that blog post on her own Substack newsletter, reminding me that we both have whistleblowing anniversaries the same week. So, I reached out for an interview. She told me that blog post was a “domino” that led to other employees’ eyes opened to the concerns and then a media investigation that told more of the story. (Check out this link for even more.) Down the road, she started her own podcast, called “Untangled Faith” to help other survivors and whistleblowers.
But while much good came all that, posting that letter was a point of no return for her life, she said.
“As somebody who has spoken out about an organization that’s connected to my faith and to my community, lots of people, it means I’ve sort of set on fire certain things that I can’t ever go back to,” she said.
The choice to speak up may as well be a move to the other side of the world. While you may set out to bring change to your organization, whistleblowing ends up changing you. It creates a before and after, and a strange sense of being “in-between,” Amy said.
“I love Jesus and I’m not leaving Christianity,” she said. “But it’s a weird space to be in to hold several things to be true at the same time.”
So, what changes when you blow the whistle?
Your mind changes.
Before you ever need to speak up, whistleblowers simply have a job to do—your normal, everyday job for which you were hired. But in the course of that role, you come across some concerning information or experience toxicity firsthand.
The first thing that changes is your mind. What you thought you knew about your company or boss is untrue, replaced by the knowledge that something is not right. If your attempts to bring the concerns to bosses goes unheard or is obscured with deception, your sense of disillusionment deepens. If your boss retaliates against you, your mind has to grapple with a new, darker truth—the systems set up to address concerns are broken. The people you trusted to do something turn on you. The world is not just.
“I don't regret telling the truth, but I really sort of miss the naivete and I miss the comfort and community,” Amy said. “I wish I can go back. I can't go back. It doesn't even exist anymore.”
And yet whistleblowers are able to see the world in new ways that can protect others. They learn about tools to shed light on hard truths. They meet new people who understand.
“If you are willing to put yourself out there, you're now a safe person for other people to come to you and say, ‘I can't tell my story yet, but I have experienced this,’ and that can feel really good,” Amy said.
Your life changes.
Whistleblowing isn’t a job for which you apply. And yet you end up spending time, energy, emotional energy, costs for therapy, and sometimes legal fees trying to advocate for your company’s or church’s values until the leaders push you out.
A 2012 study showed that when an employee uses “challenging voice” that differs with their boss’s views, the boss is likely to consider them a threat and give the employee poor performance reviews. What about the employee who uses only “supportive voice” to agree with the boss? Bosses see them as loyal and give them good reviews.[1]
Those poor reviews can pile up. Your days are numbered.
In Amy’s case, the company is a huge employer in her community and is connected to her faith community.
“I live in a community with a thousand families that think I'm a threat to their livelihood,” she said. “That makes a person consider a lot of things.”
In my own case, our whistleblowing led to us not only changing jobs, but changing countries. We lost our church community. We stopped speaking a language we’d worked hard to learn. My kids left a culture that had always been their home. We lost our calling. Almost every aspect of our lives changed.
For a time, many survivors find a new purpose and community with other survivors. Amy did this with her podcast, cranking out more than 100 episodes over the past three years with more than 400,000 downloads and an additional 41,000 views on YouTube. But surviving huge losses through whistleblowing followed by trying to advocate for others is taxing. Amy recently decided to end her podcast.
“I've been carrying the baton for a certain while and I'm handing it off,” she said. “I'm not going to save the world. I don't want to and it isn't on me. There are other people that are shining light and that Jesus is using.”
She has more questions than answers about what’s next. But she’s learning to embrace her own agency of when to engage with advocacy, and when to simply live.
“I don’t want my whole life to be about looking at hard things all the time,” Amy said. “It’s OK to remind myself that the world is bigger than this dark corner.”
Your heart changes.
Experiencing a toxic culture, then deciding to speak up about it, then experiencing betrayal by your institution takes its toll on your heart, often long-term. Whistleblowers bear the scars of layers of wounds by suffering from PTSD. You struggle to trust again. You may lose your faith in a church. Or your community. Or God.
“Where does a person like me fit?” Amy asked. “Nobody's throwing a party when I show up at their church. Nobody's like, ‘It's Amy. Amy's going to our church. This is amazing.’ That does not happen.”
Amy also experienced legal threats for her whistleblowing, which was scary. But it also strengthened her heart. No one can take that away.
“I did come to a point where I was like, we've already experienced the worst that's going to happen,” she said. “And I survived.”
(Disclaimer: This is my own personal opinion, intended as general information, and not meant to replace legal or psychological advice for your specific situation.)
[1] Ethan R. Burris, “The Risks and Rewards of Speaking Up: Managerial Responses to Employee Voice,” University of Texas at Austin, 2012.
Thanks for sharing this. ❤️ I know it will help folks.